Refuge

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. Surely Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with you favor as with a shield."

Psalm 5:11-12 NIV


These were the verses I chose to meditate over yesterday morning.

Yesterday morning...when the house was still quiet. When the coffee was still fresh. When no bills had yet come in the mail. When no clothing or carpet had been yet stained.


What joy and peace I had in those words!



Then the day started. It wasn't that the peace immediately fled my mind in a single instant of "Mommy, more paint!" or "How are we going to cut the budget now?" It was more of a slow and steady dissipation. The cries (both literally and figuratively) of family, friends, work, church duties, and home-ownership slowly began pulling at me in every direction and in turn, began drowning out those beautiful words of David I'd read repeatedly.


By the end of the night, those words were nowhere near the forefront of my mind. Peace was upended, joy boiled down, and patience run dry. I felt like the crumbly ruins of the last muffin in the batch; every other person and obligation had taken bites out of me, and I had nothing left to give.

In a God-given moment of clarity, I remembered the verse I repeated so many times earlier in the morning: "But let all who take refuge in you be glad." Suddenly it hit me that I have to surrender and seek the refuge of God to allow His Peace to saturate me.

Of course I can't be glad, of course I was exhausted! I wasn't even close to trusting God with the difficult situations that came my way in the last few hours. I admit, my number one stressor in life is that I do not relinquish "control" of my day to day worries and concerns. It was finally well after 10:00 p.m. that I decided to just surrender. God can't work in my life unless unless I actually take refuge in Him.



What joy and peace I had in those words!


...again.


Praying this morning that you take the courage God gives to surrender and seek refuge in Him. <3





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**Having dealt first-hand with clinical depression PTSD, seasonal affective disorder, and general anxiety, I know that "adopting an attitude of surrender" doesn't always work, and that it isn't that easy if you are going through emotional hardships. If you're feeling too low to pull yourself out, please seek help. It will be worth it. You are worth it.**