Promises

Today I'm inspired by:

• the rainy, misty, lush-green weather (Thank you, Lord!!)
• open windows
• bright colors
• coffee
• books. books. books.

These things today make the place where I am sitting and working holy.

Not the Main Course

This post has been moved! See the content HERE at my new blog!

<3

Refuge

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. Surely Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with you favor as with a shield."

Psalm 5:11-12 NIV


These were the verses I chose to meditate over yesterday morning.

Yesterday morning...when the house was still quiet. When the coffee was still fresh. When no bills had yet come in the mail. When no clothing or carpet had been yet stained.


What joy and peace I had in those words!



Then the day started. It wasn't that the peace immediately fled my mind in a single instant of "Mommy, more paint!" or "How are we going to cut the budget now?" It was more of a slow and steady dissipation. The cries (both literally and figuratively) of family, friends, work, church duties, and home-ownership slowly began pulling at me in every direction and in turn, began drowning out those beautiful words of David I'd read repeatedly.


By the end of the night, those words were nowhere near the forefront of my mind. Peace was upended, joy boiled down, and patience run dry. I felt like the crumbly ruins of the last muffin in the batch; every other person and obligation had taken bites out of me, and I had nothing left to give.

In a God-given moment of clarity, I remembered the verse I repeated so many times earlier in the morning: "But let all who take refuge in you be glad." Suddenly it hit me that I have to surrender and seek the refuge of God to allow His Peace to saturate me.

Of course I can't be glad, of course I was exhausted! I wasn't even close to trusting God with the difficult situations that came my way in the last few hours. I admit, my number one stressor in life is that I do not relinquish "control" of my day to day worries and concerns. It was finally well after 10:00 p.m. that I decided to just surrender. God can't work in my life unless unless I actually take refuge in Him.



What joy and peace I had in those words!


...again.


Praying this morning that you take the courage God gives to surrender and seek refuge in Him. <3





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**Having dealt first-hand with clinical depression PTSD, seasonal affective disorder, and general anxiety, I know that "adopting an attitude of surrender" doesn't always work, and that it isn't that easy if you are going through emotional hardships. If you're feeling too low to pull yourself out, please seek help. It will be worth it. You are worth it.**

The Small Step

Running on caffiene...

I wanted to get my thoughts down before the few precious minutes of morning quiet are gone.


Last night I had a horrible dream. It involved family being in danger, crazy people being mad at me, and stealing potatoes out of someone's yard.

I know, ridiculous.




Needless to say, I got little restful sleep.  My back is killing me too! Probably from all that "running" I did in my dream... I did NOT want to wake up this morning. So I slept in. From there it felt like rush, rush, rush. You know the mornings. ;)



In the past this would have curdled the milk for my entire day, poisoned any positivity.

But not today.





Today I decide that God is still in control. That even though I'm running on caffeine and ibuprofen, my day is not ruined. I still have a job I adore, a precious family of whom I could not ask for more, a fridge full of healthful food, a cup of hot coffee, and my Lord who is always on my side.

For most, this is probably a normal step of any day that starts with a sour morning. Accepting the sour and moving past it, but this has been a difficult task since battling severe anxiety for over a year. I have come leaps and bounds in the last fourteen months, and progress is sometimes slow, but today is another small step. A tiny, small step I felt worth documenting. Maybe someone else out there needs this encouragement too. It will get better. You can learn to get past the sour mornings!


Praise the Lord.

Ten Items that Saved My Sanity This Week

Spit up running down my blouse. Sticky rice on the walls. Play dough ground into the carpet.  Screaming kiddos needing Elmo, or more milk...not sure which.

This week has been amazing! And absolutely nuts. I am slowly acclimating myself to caring for two of the sweetest kids I know. For most mommies or caregivers, two kids is probably a small feat, but since I'm two weeks in with a toddler and a very young baby, I'm still in the learning process. 

So in reflection of these past few days, here are ten things that totally saved my sanity. If you're a mom, grandma, or child caregiver of any sort maybe some of these will help you too!

Enjoy with life. <3

Yogurt. Seriously, best invention ever to get kids to eat fruits and veggies. Bundle kept asking for "more dip!"

Old School Hide 'Em In Your Heart" Bible memory verse videos. Twenty glorious minutes of peace fun, upbeat 90's songs word-for-word from the Word.

Newspaper grocery ads -- an hour's worth of entertainment, from "find the fruit" to "color on the coffee creamer."

Colored pencils. Why didn't I think of having Bundle use these before? They're smaller, so much easier for toddler Bundle to grasp and use, and come in way more colors than her crayons! :)

"Purple juice", known to adults as prune juice. Works miracles for backed-up toddler systems.

These ingenious Tommee Tipee bibs. <3 Perfect for infants still learning how to use bottles.

This random plastic six-sided cookie cutter. So many play dough options! Found it at a thrift store...so keep your eyes open! 

Old silk scarves. We made roadways with them, and ran, hopped and even had our stuffed animals racing on this fabric "street."

Of course, hot tea and mindless reading material.

And most importantly, the LORD. (I know, not an item, but...) Boy would this week have been ridiculously out of control if it weren't for Him. This verse was in my devotional this morning, and it couldn't have fit my week's situation any better.

Even in these hectic days, I am beyond blessed having the privilege to care for the two sweet little ones that grace my home daily. 

Glory to Him who allowed me the opportunity (and these ten items!!)

<3

Today is September 2nd.

      And I am not writing about food.           {Yikes!}

I have found a  fabulous 365 day devotional called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  Her words of wisdom couldn't be more in line with Scripture or my feelings today:


"Living in Dependence on Me is a glorious adventure. Most people scurry around busily, trying to accomplish things through their own strength and ability. Some succeed enormously; other fail miserably. But both groups miss what life is meant to be: living and working in collaboration with Me."

Young speaks in her devotionals from God's perspective. It's a refreshing way to habitually commune with God. I have in the last year alone found myself in both positions she discusses -- "enormously successful" while insanely busy, and miserably failing while trying to accomplish things on my own.


Paul reminds us in II Corinthians 12:9-10 that weakness, hardship, and even insults are something to rejoice in, because then, God's strength can shine through. Oh, how I wish I lived this out daily! To not simply ignore, but delight in an insult thrown at me? To be glad about the circumstances that land me in the depths of bad days and bitter thoughts? What a bite to swallow.



And yet, this so deeply resonates with me.



Young goes on to say,

"You consciously live, move and have your being in Me, desiring that I live in you. I in you, and you in Me. This is the intimate adventure I offer you."


It is a glorious adventure, isn't it? Whether I fail or succeed, life without Christ is boring! When I was working full time as public school teacher, I measured success and failure in student's smiles, rising grades, and good administration reviews. I measured success and failure with personal satisfaction of accomplishing these objectives. And when they didn't happen, I failed. I felt no worth.

Probably seems silly. No worth just because a couple kids didn't get my lesson on simple machines? But to me, at the time, it was everything.

Why??

Because I was not living in dependence on Christ.  I was depending wholly on myself!!

On the good days, I attributed my "success" to none other than yours truly. When I failed, I had no worth. My failure was all my fault. Every morning was a battle. A long, hard battle wondering whether or not I would have the strength on my own to succeed, or if I would miserably fail.



In my successes, life was predictable. Wake up, work, succeed, repeat. In my failures, life was predictable. Wake up, work, fail, repeat. No wonder my self-worth suffered. No wonder my life felt empty no matter what my standards of strength and weakness were!



Even during these tough days, the Lord was at work. He has taught me over the last six months that living consciously in Him is far more exciting and rewarding than doing life on my own, whether smoothly in success or fearfully in failure.

I praise the Lord today for His Word, His Son, and His everlasting life that gave me the courage and inspiration to write about this today.

 If you take anything from this simple blog, take this: my inspiration and courage is not my own.  In my weakness, may God's Strength shine through.

"'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

II Corinthians 12:9-10